Many times in my life I’ve been wondering why is it such a big problem for a girl to find a right guy, and by right guy I mean a person, who appreciates her, who gives her what she needs, who loves her and is faithfull. We all like to complain how stupid men are and that they don’t deserve us as we are better than them and as we want relationships, when they don’t want them at all.
Well, the truth is different.
I don’t know about other species than humans, but we all have feelings, emotions and all of those higher needs from the Maslow’s piramide. Doesnt matter which gender are you. We want to be close with somebody, feel the love and being loved, because love is the most powerull feeling anybody can have.
The highest on the piramide is self-actualization and esteem needs. It can’t be built if we don’t have relationships though, because humans are social animals and we need others in our lifes. Besides the relations with family and friends this also includes the intimate relationships. And as you can see, nowhere on that picture it’s written that those needs are just for women.
WE ALL NEED ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS IN OUR LIFES.
So why do we feel like men just run away from them ?
Besides the emotional side, men tend to think too much. They also don’t really push into ANY kind of relationship, just to be in one. If they feel that something is wrong, that it doens’t have a chance to be existing ( like long distance, too much drama around you, he doens’t like your lifestyle or he just simply feels that you just want a relationship, not to be with him ), he’ll run away without even telling you why. Men are selective when it comes to serious things in their lifes ( I don’t mean one-night stands ) and you’ve probably already realized that most of men have their stable group of friends, that they’ve had for ages, they know what they want and if you’re not what they want, they’ll show you that quite quickly. Sometimes the sentence ” what they want” means you’re not the type of girl they look for and sometimes it means that you appeared in the wrong time in their lifes, because they postpone the relationship when they’ll experience everything they wanted.
I think that the word ” selectiveness” is the key to undersnand men. You might be everything he’ll ever wanted but if the circumstances are wrong, he will be struggling but won’t commit into a serious relationship. Also by the word “selectiveness” I mean testing you. Some men have bad experiences from the past and don’t want to be just “the boyfriend” but the one that girl actually felt for. And so lots of men have a tendency to test a women to see how much does she actually care. We decided to be equal some time ago and men want that equality too.
But this is a topic for different post 🙂