We all need sex.
And following our instincts and the popculture ( “friends with benefits” played by Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake ) we think of fuckbuddies – how awesome would it be to experience something like this. Then, on the other hand the movie shows that it is impossible to just stay friends and most probably your life experience tells you the same.
But what if you can’t stand any more crappy one night stands but you are not in love with anybody to start building a relationship? Seems like you have 2 options – or you’ll use your hand until you find the right one or you’ll just end up hurting other girls ( or yourself ). But how does it really look like from the women’s perspective? I’ll tell you my story, therefore my perpective and stories of other girls – my friends.
I’ve had a time in my 20’s that I was single. I was dating but nobody was a boyfriend material and so sleeping with those people was pointless for me ( more that I was feeling it was the only thing they wanted ). But as every human being I needed sex. So one day I met a friend of other friend of mine. We liked each other immediately to start chatting via facebook. Talking a lot led us to the point that it would be nice to be fuck buddies. And so it started. Sex was fine, I was satisfied ( and so as he ). We were sleeping with each other for 3 months more or less ( later sexting ). I have to admit the vision of relationship came through my mind but it was just because we were seeing each other quite often. I’ve never developed any deeper feelings for him.
But why the vision of relationship came through my mind then ? And why didn’t I develop any feelings for the guy?
- I liked him but I didn’t fancy him. He was handome but not really desirable for me
- We’ve never spent night together. Never cuddled. Never went for any date. No romantic aspects, future talks. Those were just pure intercourses. No strings attached.
- I think the vision of relationship will come through a mind of every single girl who sleeps with somebody. Feelings doesn’t matter that much. But it doesn’t mean she takes the possibility in a serious way. It’s just a quick though.
For now I am with a guy who has been my boyfriend for 3 years now. We’ve started as fuckbuddies as well. And so why did I develop my feelings for him and for the other one I did’t ?
- He was extremely desirable for me. He was one of the hottest guy I’ve ever met and I fancied him the day I saw him. It was unconscious. He was feeling the same way.
- We were flirting. A looot.
- We were talking. A looot.
- We were spending nights together and cuddling.
- There was no week we wouldn’t spend together. And when there were, I was missing him a lot.
- We were dating.
Those are my stories but they are equivalent to every women in this planet. I have one friend who’s a real romantic, still managed to have a fuck buddy while being single, simple because she didn’t desire the guy. She just needed sex. Did a vision of a relationship came through her mind, evern though he wasn’t her type and she didn’t fancy him at all? Yes. Did she develop feelings after some time? No, she didn’t.
And so desire is the first and main factor that decises if the woman can be fuckfriend with you or not. Drop off the thought that every women in the world is romantic and just look for a relationship. You won’t be a compatible couple for everybody just because you’re a guy. The relation based just on sex is possible and with the benefits towards both of you. But the boundries need to be clear. Once you’ll see she develops feelings to you and you don’t, you gotta be clear about it. Honesty is the best policy and will give both of you just benefits. She needs to like you to sleep with you, but she can’t fancy you. Make sure you know and see the difference :)d