” Treat your partner as you treat your clients “
Is it really that easy as it seams ?
Relationships are made for us to feel safe, to enjoy other person, to explore our bodies and experience the commitment issue. We want them to be the best as we can do but then… always buts. Then it comes to deal with the real life – work, stress etc. As we get more and more comfortable around our partner, we start to take that person for granted. We stop trying to impress her/him, we stop having sex as often as we used to and we stop talking with them in a nice way. All the work leftovers are meant to be for our partners – the stress we can’t show in work, the problems that we there experience. There’s no flirting any more. Also we became more selfish and we just think of him/her as a person who’s the problem. He/she is the one that destroys the relationship. Always.
It takes two to tango.
But you are the only person who can change something. If your partner sees the change, most probably will follow impressed by your behavior. But what to do? What should you do to have a great relationship ?
1.The rule of keeping shits to yourself.
You come back from work. Your collegue pisses you off so much, you have to deal with cranky client and your boss told you that if you won’t improve, you’re out of job. The stress grows inside you and needs to be realased. Where do you always realase it ? Where you meet with your S.O. And as much as talking about problems is importants, throwing up the leftovers of that stress is just bad. Your partner didn’t do anything to be treated badly just because you had a bad day or you stress a lot. This is your issue to deal with. This way you just provide bad vibes and make both of you misarable.
2. The rule of flirting
Flirting is to play with the idea of having sex. Flitng is showing the other that you’re independent people. To flirt is to desire. Basically to flirt is to show that you are not needy but extremely attracted to somebody else. And the game that you provide for that other person is really exciting. Usualy appears at the beginig of the new relationship, to then dissapear, because we don’t have to try any more. Art of flirting is one of the most important rules for anybody who wants to have a great relationship.
3. Treat your partner as if you treated your client but stay true at the same time
You would never be mean or cranky to your client simply because you would loose that person. You don’t take them for granted, you gotta earn their money. Then when you are with somebody else you think that person will be staying with you forever. This is a really common mistake. That person can dissapear today, tomorrow, in a month. WE DON’T OWN ANYBODY. That person makes a decision every single day that wants to be with us or not. Every single day you gotta earn that privilage to be with your S.O. At the same time you gotta be your trueself for that person. You can’t lie and you do sometimes with your clients and if you’re annoyed by something that person does or you think they make some stupid decision, you gotta tell them. The art is to tell it in a great way, so your partner doesn’t feel like you attack them.
4. Selfishness is usually bad
Listen. Be really openminded to your S.O. Make them a little suprises. Take care of them when something goes wrong. Be sure that they deserve your selfishness side and once you do, miracles will happen. That doesn’t mean you should stop thinking of yourself, That means a real connection and being a human. That means to love
I got inspired by my favourite psychotherapist – Esther Perel. If you want to get to know her point of view to the issues between man and women, click here