If you are in a long distance relationship and you don’t know how to deal with the situation, don’t worry ! I know a lot of couples who survived that time and it seems that people online love to share their stories and their advices in that topic as well. I collected the most interesting of them and decided to write about that topic.
First of all, it’s extremely important how did you guys start the relationship – was it the long-distance one since begining ( you met online or somewhere else once but then one of you needed to come back to your city or country ) or were you pursuing a normal relationship and then one of you needed to move out. It is important because in the second case you already built the closure, some habits, you had time to get to know each other perfectly. It is just a temporary change and you know what you’re coming back to. When it comes to the first case, well… If you have seen that person just for few times, most probable it is that you romanticize the relation because of the distance. The distance makes it seem like a mystery that needs to be discovered and the person that is so far away seems flawless, because you don’t deal with her/his disadvanatges. You just deal with all of those great stuff via online. So this is important to think of, how does it look like in reality.
If you are sure that there are serius feelings from both sides, the question is if one of you have a possibiity to move out and make a bigger compromise than the other one. Let’s face it – one of you eventually will have to do it. You can’t be living in long distance relationship for ever, because people need that closure, need that person to share life with. You need to have come common life together. Without it you’re gonna feel this separation that for sure will increase it’s size… One will have to decide to do that move at some point. So it needs to be considered carefully – if this is really what you want and if you’re able to leave your friends, family, job – life, to start somehow new one with that other person. Or if you’ll deal with the sacrifices the other person makes for you when moving to you.
Connected to what I’ve written above is the question if you see that person as a life-longing partnetr. And so again, the couples who have been together before can quite eaisily answer that question, because they have some experience with each other. They know how they prosper in every day life, how do they deal with some challenges and if they feel nice around each other. So answering that question is not such a big problem and, in that case, distance gives you a favor, because it gives you time to think about your relationship deeper. You can experience a single life at the same time, see how do you feel without your parnter,prove yourself that you can be independent and with all of that then make a decision – if you feel better like this or if you feel better with your parner.
And so besides this one advantage of the distance, there’s one more – the element of separation creates the element of unknown, which leads us to increasing the desire. In love and every single day life we want to get to know that person, cross all of the bridges with him/her to connect. When the distance comes, new bridges are created. We’re separated again, we want to cross the new bridges. That crossing the new bridges, that element of unknown, that element of ” I want you, because I don’t own you” is called the desire. Many people freshed up their relationship because of the distance. The perfectly known person suddenly became somebody that I don’t really know that well, and so I need to get to know her/him.
Some of my and other people’s advices if you need to survive the long distance relationsip ( being of course positive-minding about it and considering everything I wrote above 😉 )
1. Regular visiting
You both need to wait for something in your relationship. You need to move forward and the regular seeing each other will just do that job
2. Suprise each other
An e-mail, a kinky text, a gift sent via post, a nice pic, an expected phone call – all of those things will make the other person feel chills in their bodies because it’s the element of unexpected
Some people really advice it. Me, personally, I don’t like it because as soon as I see my S.O I wanna kiss him or cudlle him, when skype makes it impossible ( yet ). But seeing the other person’s face is a definitely good thing, so you should try this thing up for sure
4. Skype sex
This is a must. While just a normal convo might be seeming quite boring, the skype sex is definitely an exciting thing. And the only way ( besides texts ) to have sex with that person at the same time… Well, technically it’s a masturbation, but you see my point
And so… Those are my advices when it comes to long distance relationships. DON’T GIVE UP ! It’s not the end of the world. Even though it’s not an easy situation, it brings a lot of advantages as well. Stay positive, stay in love.