We’ve all been there before. You’re in a relationship with a person you care about but you have that feeling, that something isn’t right – you fight way too often, you have different visions of your future, different oppinions, you can’t deal any more with the long-dictance. It can be anything, really.
And so, the moment finally arrives – you need to give each other some time and space. In other words – you need to break up. Almost always it’s painfull, devastating and makes you feel numb. You feel like you’ll never date again. That there’s nobody who will fulfill that empty space you have deep inside. I wouldn’t be suprised if you feel disgust thinking of being with other people. How to deal with that grind period?
You need to realize that it won’t last. This is such a cliche, I know. It’s just that it’s proven scientifically, that our minds don’t distinguish mental pain from the phisical one. It’s like if you had a huge injury in your body and now it needs time to recover. Time will heal you. But how to survive that time to not become a zombie?
What we usually hear as advices are : go out and meet with your friends, so you won’t be alone; fall in love as fast as possible to overcome that pain; go dating … and so on. All of those activities are just made for cover up the pain, not to actually heal it. In any of those cases you’re gonna be surrounded by people and in those moments it might feel nice, but once you’re alone again, all the depressing thoughts will come back to you – that you were feeling so safe around your ex, that it was so nice to be cuddling, spooning, saying I love you. That he was sooo funny and caring. And so what he wanted to move to Tokio and you just wanted to stay here forever? And so what she wasnt’t appreciating all the good things you were doing for her? You just want your baby back, because now you’re feeling alone.
What can we do then ? Is there any solution ?
The solution is to do the development in your life.
I’m sure you have some goal, dream or whatever else you wanna start doing or keep on doing and being better in that field. Now it’s the time to focus on that. It can be something small every single day ( for example, if you wanna loose some weight, excercising for one h will make you feel great, because it will close you up to your goal). Self-development has a huge power, because we focus the attention on ourself and pointing to the place in life we please, which always feels good. It also indicated your relaibility to yourself and shows you how much are you atually worth.
This leaads you to the independence – you realize you can be happy and you don’t need anybody to prove it to you. In other words :
INDEPENDENCE = HAPPINESS.
I believe this is the main way to deal with break up. Give yourself a try and you’ll see how great impact will it have on you
ps. I wouldn’t recommend getting drunk every single weekend. Alcohol is a fake friend who makes you terrific in the moment, to leave you with dehydration and, as it happens quite often, shamefull feelings afterwards. I don’t say to stop drinking or partying – just dont go all the way.
One-night stands are neither a great idea, as you just try to replace your ex with somebody random and this x is irreplacable. Besides, what quality of intercourse are you expecting, when during you have somebody different on your mind?